The Importance of Attunement in Maintaining Healthy Relationships
Are you attuned to your partner?
Maintaining and sustaining a healthy relationship requires a combination of factors such as respect, trust, communication, and support. However, one factor that is often overlooked but deeply significant in maintaining healthy relationships is attunement.
What is Attunement?
The concept of attunement originates from parent/child research and emphasizes a parent's understanding of their child's needs. As it relates to adult relationships, attunement is a profound connection and an indicator of a close bond between partners. It involves continuously working to understand and anticipate each other's thoughts, feelings, and moods.
The Importance of Attunement
Attunement is an act of love and care that communicates to your partner that they are valued and understood. Feeling validated, understood, and important fosters a deep bond between partners and strengthens their connection.
How to Attune to Your Partner
- Listen to Understand: Instead of immediately seeking solutions, offer a listening ear to understand your partner's experiences and validate their feelings.
- Offer to Help: Let your partner know that you are available to support them, which goes beyond offering quick solutions. Keep in mind that support can be as simple as listening to your partner, doing small acts of service (picking up dry cleaning or groceries), or giving a neck massage. Support does not always have to be directly related to the issue or concern.
- Check In: Periodically ask your partner how they are feeling and ensure you have the time and attention to listen and support them if needed. If you don’t have the time at the moment, schedule a time where you can be fully present for them.
- Undivided Attention: Be sure to hold conversations when you can provide undivided attention, which might mean you have to schedule time to talk. Providing your undivided attention shows that you value and prioritize your partner's feelings and experiences.
If you find it challenging to attune to your partner, seeking professional help to improve your attunement skills can be beneficial. Being attuned to your partner and their needs is supportive, reparative, and healing to most relationships. Thus, it’s worth the effort to learn and practice.
I hope this helps.
Until next time…
-Alana
