Walking Away From a Toxic Job: A Brave Leap and Lessons Learned

In 2024, I did something that felt profoundly brave: I left a toxic job. For some, leaving a job might be routine or even mundane. But for me, this decision symbolized more than just a career move—it was an act of self-preservation, a leap of faith, and a declaration of my worth.

This wasn’t just any job. It provided financial stability, health insurance, a 401(k), and even opportunities for growth. Yet, despite these perks, the job was draining me emotionally, mentally, and physically. It took me nearly three years to fully recognize just how toxic the environment was. And when I did, I knew I had to prioritize my well-being.

The Courage to Leave

I’ve been working since I was 15 and have rarely left a job without something else lined up. The last time I took such a leap was when I was much younger, with far fewer responsibilities. This time, I didn’t step into the unknown—I poured myself into my private practice and embraced being a business owner. It was one of the best decisions I made all year. But it wasn’t easy. It required clarity, courage, and confidence.

Before I left, I learned invaluable lessons about navigating a toxic workplace. These lessons not only helped me survive but also thrive until I was ready to leave. I hope they might help someone else in a similar situation.

1. Trust Your Feelings

One of the first signs that the job was toxic came from within: dread. I used to love going to work, but suddenly, I found myself anxious and resistant. That feeling was my first clue that something was deeply wrong. Pay attention to your emotions—they often signal misalignment long before your mind catches up.

2. Limit Your Connections

When I first started the job, I prioritized building community and forming close relationships with colleagues. But as I realized the toxicity of the environment, I pulled back. I remained friendly but limited access to myself outside the workplace. My mantra became: “You see me at work, and then you don’t.”

3. Assert Yourself

Once I recognized the toxicity, I became unapologetically assertive. In meetings, I spoke up, even if it meant being the only voice of dissent. I didn’t engage in unnecessary battles, but if something impacted my work or values, I voiced my opinion clearly and respectfully. My assertiveness wasn’t about proving anything to others—it was about standing firm in my boundaries and beliefs.

4. Anchor Yourself in Confidence

One of the most significant lessons I learned is that confidence is the antidote to insecurity, which often fuels toxic environments. Many of my colleagues sought validation through power plays and passive-aggressive behaviors. I didn’t need that validation because I validated myself. I knew I belonged, I knew I was good at my job, and I let that confidence guide me. Their insecurities couldn’t shake me because I was rooted in my own sense of worth.

5. Let Your Work Speak for Itself

Even in a toxic workplace, I maintained a high standard for my work. My dedication earned me a reputation as someone who could get things done. Students, even those who weren’t in my classes, sought me out because they heard I could help. While this brought additional burdens, it also reminded me of my capabilities. However, it also became a sign that I was carrying more than my fair share, which ultimately contributed to my decision to leave.

6. Know When It’s Time to Walk Away

The final straw came when I could no longer stand behind the mission of the organization. I stopped believing in the institution and could no longer encourage students to be there. That misalignment with my morals, combined with the exhaustion of carrying an unsustainable workload, made it clear: it was time to go.

Final Thoughts

Leaving that job wasn’t just about escaping toxicity—it was about reclaiming my peace, my joy, and my sense of self. Toxic environments can erode even the strongest people, but with confidence, assertiveness, and clarity of purpose, it’s possible to navigate them and come out stronger on the other side.

If you’re in a toxic workplace, I hope this resonates with you. Trust yourself, protect your energy, and know that you are capable of so much more than simply surviving. You deserve to thrive. Sometimes, the bravest thing you can do is walk away.

I hope this helps.

Until next time...

-Alana