What Energy Are You Carrying?
How Your Leading Emotion Shapes the Connections You Attract
I recently had a conversation with a client about the energy she carries with her and how it might influence the way others perceive and connect with her. She shared that she felt she wasn’t attracting people, particularly potential romantic partners. While I don’t claim to have all the answers, we explored this together and unpacked the idea of energy and its role in attraction.
What Makes Someone Attractive?
When we think about attraction, physical appearance often comes to mind. However, looks aren’t everything. We’ve all encountered people who may not fit traditional beauty standards but still captivate others with their charisma and presence. These individuals exude something intangible—a certain energy—that makes them magnetic. So, what is this energy, and how does it shape the way others experience us?
Understanding Your Energy: Your Leading Emotion
Energy is hard to define because it’s invisible, but it’s deeply felt. One way to understand it is through the concept of your leading emotion. This is your emotional baseline—the feeling you carry with you most of the time, whether you’re aware of it or not.
For example, my own leading emotion is happiness. I strive to maintain a positive outlook because it feels good to me and resonates with who I am. This positivity influences my energy: I’m more likely to smile, make eye contact, and engage with others in an inviting way. People often respond to this energy because it feels warm and open.
But leading emotions vary from person to person. Some people might lead with irritation, anger, sadness, or anxiety, and these emotions show up in subtle but powerful ways—through facial expressions, body language, and overall demeanor.
How Leading Emotions Affect Connection
Your leading emotion shapes how others perceive and approach you. Here’s how different emotions might manifest:
- Irritation: This might show up as tension in your body or a reluctance to engage with others. It can make you seem unapproachable.
- Anger: People may sense a brash or defensive energy, which could discourage interaction.
- Sadness: This often shows up as low energy, limited eye contact, or a withdrawn demeanor, which might make you seem closed off.
- Anxiety: This can create an aura of restlessness or worry, which may unintentionally push people away.
Now, think about your leading emotion. What energy are you carrying with you into the world?
Exploring the Roots of Your Leading Emotion
If your leading emotion isn’t something you’re comfortable with, it’s worth exploring why it’s there. Often, these emotions are rooted in unconscious thoughts or beliefs. For example:
- Fear: You might feel constantly on edge because you perceive danger or uncertainty, even when none exists.
- Anger: This could stem from unresolved frustrations or a tendency to react defensively.
- Sadness: This might be linked to feelings of low self-worth or past experiences of loss.
By identifying the root causes, you can begin to work through these emotions and shift your energy toward something more aligned with openness and connection.
Energy and Romantic Attraction
When it comes to dating, your leading emotion can significantly influence how you connect with potential partners. One client of mine realized that her leading emotion differed based on who she was interacting with. Around women, she felt open and joyful. But with men, her energy shifted to skepticism, rooted in past hurt and mistrust.
This skepticism subtly shaped her demeanor—she was less likely to smile, make eye contact, or appear approachable. Potential partners likely sensed this guarded energy and hesitated to connect. When we explored this together, she recognized that her underlying belief about men being a source of pain was creating a barrier to the openness she desired.
Shifting Your Energy to Attract Connection
If you’re not attracting the connections you want, take a moment to check in with your energy. Ask yourself:
- What is my leading emotion?
- Am I comfortable with this emotion?
- What unconscious thoughts or beliefs might be fueling it?
Once you’ve identified these patterns, you can begin to shift your energy. This doesn’t mean ignoring or suppressing your emotions—it means understanding them, working through their roots, and making intentional choices about the energy you bring into the world.
For my client, this meant challenging her beliefs about men and creating space for a leading emotion of openness. Over time, this shift will likely help her attract the kind of connections she’s looking for.
Final Thoughts
Your energy is your invisible aura—it’s how people feel you before they even know you. By becoming aware of your leading emotion and doing the inner work to align it with your desired connections, you can create a presence that draws people in and fosters meaningful relationships.
So, what’s your leading emotion? And is it helping you attract the connections you want? If not, now’s the perfect time to explore and adjust it. Your energy is in your hands—let it work for you, not against you.
I hope this helps…
-Alana
