How to Alleviate the Stress of the Holidays

The holiday season can be a time of joy and connection—but it can also be overwhelming, especially when family dynamics, packed schedules, and personal triggers come into play. If the holidays feel more like a marathon than a celebration, you’re not alone. Here are some strategies to help you protect your peace and enjoy the season in a way that feels good for you.

1. Make a Plan

Before heading into a potentially stressful holiday event, prepare yourself.

• Have an exit strategy. If a family member’s comments or behavior gets overwhelming, decide in advance how you'll handle it. If you’re with a partner or friend, create a discreet signal or code word to indicate when it’s time to leave.
• Plan responses for tough situations. Think about how you’ll handle uncomfortable questions or comments. For example, if someone always brings up your relationship status, you can plan to answer lightly or redirect the conversation.

Preparation gives you a sense of control and makes it easier to navigate tough moments.

2. Keep Your Boundaries in Mind

The holidays don’t mean you have to throw your boundaries out the window.

• Be clear about what’s off-limits. If there are topics you don’t want to discuss, say so. You can let people know kindly but firmly that you’re not comfortable talking about a certain subject.
• Have a mantra. If setting boundaries in the moment feels tough, create a personal mantra to help you let things go. For example, remind yourself: “That’s just Grandma being Grandma,” when she starts her usual critique, or “Their opinion doesn’t define me.”

By being mindful of your limits, you can protect yourself from unnecessary stress.

3. Understand Your Triggers

Holiday gatherings can bring up old wounds or uncomfortable feelings.

• Write down your triggers. Make a list of situations or comments that tend to bother you. Knowing your triggers helps you prepare emotionally for the event.
• Process later. Commit to unpacking these feelings afterward in a journal, with a trusted friend, or during a therapy session. This can help you find closure or clarity.

Awareness of your triggers empowers you to handle them with intention.

4. Give Yourself Permission to Say No

Not every event or tradition is worth your mental health.

• Skip events that don’t feel safe. If spending time with certain people is harmful, it’s okay to say no. Instead, consider celebrating with friends or chosen family who uplift and support you.
• Let go of guilt. Prioritizing your emotional well-being is not selfish—it’s necessary.

Remember, the holidays are about joy and connection, not obligation.

5. Take Breaks

If you’re feeling overstimulated or overwhelmed, give yourself permission to step away.

• Go outside. A quick walk or some fresh air can help you reset.
• Take a moment of solitude. Even sneaking into the bathroom for a few minutes to breathe or collect your thoughts can work wonders.

Short breaks can keep you from becoming emotionally drained.

6. Put Yourself First

At the end of the day, your well-being comes first.

• Check in with yourself. Ask yourself what you need throughout the day and honor that.
• Practice self-care. Whether it’s scheduling downtime, enjoying your favorite comfort food, or prioritizing sleep, remember to nurture yourself.

You can’t pour from an empty cup, so take care of you before trying to show up for others.

The holidays are an opportunity to celebrate, but they don’t have to come at the expense of your mental health. By planning ahead, honoring your boundaries, and prioritizing self-care, you can navigate the season with more ease and joy.

I hope this helps.

Until next time,

Dr. Alana